Creating acceptance in your foster/adoptive child with confidence.

I witnessed recently my youngest daughter trying to fit in at a private pool. I observed as she built up some bravery to swim up to a group of girls playing together in the pool. They looked like they have known one another for a while. Unknowingly, though just feet away from my gaze, my uninhibited nine-year-old girl found the courage to ask this group of girls if she could play and swim with them. With attentive anticipation, I watched as these privileged six to nine-year-old little girls looked at each other and slowly swim away. I was heartbroken to see my girl, as her face gazed in disbelief. With this act of nonacceptance, the vibrant nine-year-old girl never missed a bit as she turned and swam away from her disappointment to swim and play by herself, with the feeling of freedom from their cliquey environment.  I was amazed when our youngest son came to his sister's defense. He found his heroism as he told the girls how they should be nice to his sister. He boldly defended her right to be accepted. As I viewed from afar, I pondered how they must have felt most of their short eight and nines years of life.

Who truly knows what it's like to go from house to house?  Unless you have. From family to family?  Unless you have. Or from school to school? Unless, of course,  you have been in foster care. Well, my children do. My kids know how it feels to be the "new kid" in a home, the new ones in a new family unit or the new kid in class! They have learned how to adjust to whatever life gives them. Wherever they have been placed from birth to present, they have had to find the ability to adapt. My kids have had to go through the terrible ordeal of having to explain not once, but multiple times why they are not living in their old home? Why are they calling new people mom and dad? They have had to answer, what happened? They never had their identity, but until now!! NOW, we are finding out who they are! With whom they want to become. We have shared with the two of them, how God uniquely created them! Designed to become their future story. Set up to share with fervency by living OUT LOUD their souls within.

My children are not from the sum of their past. My kids if were given the perfect DNA. My children are birthed from God! ALL children in foster care are deeply scarred, yet able to heal. When unloved, they became lovable. When unwanted, they became chosen! As a foster parent, it seems as though your child will never overcome their internal pain or will never grow through the stiffening fear of moving past their secrets. But let me tell you they can! They do! And they will! Don't give up! Let them realize they are who they are and because you love them for every last blemish! "Imperfection seems perfect when seen through the eyes of love! "

I pray our children will see why God has them in the palm of his hand; we show them they can never be shaken from His grasp!

My girl will become the girl that every clique wants to accept. My boy will grow to advocate for others like him. We can teach empowerment before all hope is lost in their eyes. Become a foster / adoptive parent who proves the impossible child is plausible to others around them! We as their parents should always educate and always improving the future of each child.

In His Service 

Tammy 
President and Founder of +Foster Closet

"Mom to the Broken - Hope to the Fatherless"