Back to school with a plan.

Is your child Timid? Happy? Angry? Scared? Or outgoing?  Let's also say NEW, on top of everything else? I could go on, but, they are too many 'labels' that we all have designated that defines our children. How are you going to define your child on their first day of school to their teacher? Being a foster child is a daunting experience. Having to leave the only family you have ever known; going to a new family; a new school; and now a new "identity" can break your child's spirit. As parents, we must give each child the confidence to enter any environment with a willingness to learn anything new while in your home... and there will be many changes for them while in your home.

The day you meet your child's teacher - give each teacher insightful direction on how to best present your child to the class. Share with their teacher how your child is new to your home, but, we must let the child know--not in your heart. No child should feel unequally as a family member. Teachers need to be aware of this as well. Although, in foster care,you are wanting the child to realize they are a part of your family unit, however, school is one place it becomes apparent they are different.  It's good to start off by mentioning to their teacher some positive attributes of your child. Share with their teachers all their best qualities, while instructing the teacher on how best to keep the child on their positive traits. For instance, "Our little girl who is very outgoing, is also afraid of not being able to make new friends.  Although she is a people pleaser, she has a part of her who wants to always be right. " I would let my teacher know how she is beautiful on the inside as she is on the out. "She has a big heart, with a bigger zeal for her independence." Although only being in your house a short time you have given the teacher the insight to your daughter' strengths. Let the teacher know that math is her favorite and you have found her needing help in reading. All of these small, but insightful details are helpful for your child's education, and future in school. "She has a love for math that we hope she cultivates here in your class, but we have noticed she's less confident in her reading skills."  Remember, your child is always listening to your words... your words that can either encourage or defeat a child's confidence in a new school environment.

Although your child's time spent in your home (or in their new school) maybe unknown; it will make a direct impact on their education. In some settings, you will be in a place where the child is in earshot  and you do not want to give out too much information on why they are with you in front of your child. Any information that could be classified confidential should not be said at on their first day of school.  This is not the place to explain their past or any fears you might have of what might happen in their class. Those items should be held for a scheduled parent / teacher conference when the child or others in the classroom are not present. Sometimes even sitting face to face with their school's counselor is needed. Better yet, even at a group setting with the child's case manager, therapist, as well as the school's counselor, and child's teacher. Schools encourage communication about the specifics of each child in their classrooms. Building teams to help your child's education will give everyone a better outlook on your child's specific needs. When educators  have better knowledge of the children past and present circumstance they will know best how to educate and guide in consist direction.

You have been given a child who needs your help in their educational path. It will be up to you to see  set many events into motion for your child's permanent future.  Education is a huge aspect in foster children's growth. Less than 45% of children in foster care never graduation high school. Don't let your child fall through the cracks while under your care.

Yes, triggers may happen in class.  Parental visits will disrupt your child's school day and therapist and social worker in-school-visits  do not help their consistency in learning. However, we have to help each child's survival needs...you are actively advocating is showing them you care. You are also demonstrating to the educator that the child in your home has a determined parent who will oversee every aspect of their student's educational needs. Be thoughtful and insightful.  In their education and as well as their emotional plan. This is a small but vital part of your child's life that will affect them even after they leave your home.

We are more than caregivers, we are strategic planners. We must plan their structured environments, solid meals, deep rested sleep, and scheduled playdates that will give way to the willingness to learn and create attachments to what they are experiencing. You might think that learning is not affected by their home-life, not seeing their parents, siblings, pets or friends.... but if you were taking from what you knew as "home" or "family" would you be at school thinking of classwork? or would you be at school thinking of when you would see them again? Please pour into your child's emotional needs. Keep positive and constant lines of communication with your child. Having them hear your positivity will lessen the fear, and lessen the distractions they might be having in school.

Educate yourself on all you can about children in care, and how to best advocate for them in every aspect of their lives. Your child will leave your home better educated, loved, and nurtured. It truly is all about their souls, and what we can do in their lives to build a lasting view of themselves. If a child feels loved, in control, and confident; they will have a better chance of resilience in their future.

In His Service,
Tammy
president and founder of +Foster Closet
"Mom to the Broken - Hope to the Fatherless"