Sunday, June 11, 2017

Taking our memories while "Starting a New"

To everything (turn, turn, turn)

There is a season (turn, turn, turn)And a time to every purpose, under heaven. "Turn", by the Birds

The Worlds of The Lord
Ecclesiastes 3:4-"a time to weep and a time to laugh,  a time to mourn and a time to dance. "


As I look back over the last 12 years that our family was a licensed foster home, and, the one year as an adoptive family.  I find myself pondering all the "moments" in my family's life which has created our family as a whole. After 17 years of bringing up our children, serving the children, and caring for teens within a foster family in our community.  We have closed our home to fostering and moved our forever family to our new home. It was hard leaving the very home where we raised our two older children for from the ages of 3 to 20, and 6 to the age of 23.  In the last 13 of the 17 years time spent in our five bedroom home, we had 61 fostered souls sojourn. God knows how difficult this can be.  Leaving such fond memories, but also, how rewarding our future will become. 



As I slowly walked throughout the hallways of the upstairs, I noticed myself peering into each space looking for any remnants or articles of the yesteryears. I am continuously stopped in my tracks by the deafening silence of noises I may never hear again.  I am overwhelmed by the resounding memory of countless belly laughs, whimpers, and cries of a dozen babies as their sounds drift towards my bedroom calling me to their cribs. I can still hear many of the kids playing with my childhood dollhouse on the upstairs balcony. I can see where the super-hero and princes' stickers that cover the inside of their doors. And, where the bunk bed was set now gives way to the memory of all their bedtime routines. Even when I would help each child snuggle into their beds, tuck them in or sing them hymns; then read them a bedtime story. Or kissed their foreheads and whispered goodnight.  I pray they remember those special moments, as much as I did.  "A child's best friend is usually the one telling bedtime stories." Eraldo Banovac.
My emotions are extremely mixed knowing these moments are leaving us behind. I can feel the sadness of my empty arms which gives way to the joy of knowing our home has truly ministered to many little beings permeating throughout our household of faith. The moment when I feel the loss of the child member when they leave my arms and get handed over to another's.... life is forever changed in the McGuire family. "God Puts those in our life who become greater than a memory." me, Tammy McGuire

If these walls could talk, they would say many things that are recollections of when the children entered our home. Our family would witness their eyes telling a story of the feelings they felt as they entered our home for the first time. Some felt fearfulness while others, like babies, that would have that look of an empty shell or hopelessness. When anger would raise its ugly head, I am reminded how the mood of rage is a fine line that can cross to the feeling of loneliness.   It never mattered how they came in, but, it always mattered how they were touched as we watch them leave. "Where we love, is home - that our feet may leave, but not our hearts." - relative adopted parent  Oliver Wendell Holmes. - Chief Justice of the United States.
Sometimes I can still hear the laughter from each silly, sarcastic, and funny family characters who forever permeated the walls of our home. Sometimes I think back to those giggles from the depths of our souls; it makes my laughter turn to sweet tears of joy. Many times when a child would make us laugh, we saw them becoming powerful creatures of who God who created them to be and not that of whom they were. "The laughter of a child is the light of a home,"   Unknown

As I stroll through the house and open each door that leads to another, I find myself looking for traces of memories left. I can still recall the sounds, smells, and the touch of the children we so lovingly served over the last 13 years. The smells of the newborn babies in our arms, as we soothe their
whimpers with our cuddles, and rock them so gently to sleep. I can still smell those silly little boys, the boys who ran throughout the halls and up and down the stairs towards the front door that led them outside front yard to play. I can smell the thousands of meals that I have so lovingly prepared for each of their empty tummies. I have always hoped they could seehow we are blessed, as they taste the bountiful fruits of the Lord's greatness!! Would one ever think that smells live in a home are in memory?  If you have ever been around a child's spirit, then you know they have forever touched yours.  And even the smells are kept in our home's memory, and Forever in my mind! Thank you, Lord, for that! "Of the five senses, smell is the one with the best memory" Rebecca McClanahan


Finally, the touch of a child can still be felt on my cheek as they thank me for fixing a broken toy or kissing boo-boos away. The embrace of their hugs as they wrapped their sweet arms around me and gave way to their trust of love.  I am forever grateful to God for allowing me to have experienced their innocent love and the newness of life. I am thankful for each child and all the sensory moments that I have collected over the years.  Which brings joy, sadness, and closure to the past. "Perhaps this is the moment for which you have been created." Esther 4:14


I would like to end this blog with this powerful quote by poet Helen Bush 

                                                        God has given me a place on earth
to be here for a while.
I hope that as I’m passing through
I can make somebody smile
I want to make life easier
For all the ones I meet
I ask God for His blessings
To the strangers on the street.
I hope I’ll never fail a friend
If I can help somehow.
I want to be as generous
As my resources will allow.
And when my life on earth is done.
It will be my final plea
Let someone, somewhere think or say
“You made a difference to me”
-Helen Bush 

TammyPresident and Founder of +Foster Closet

"Mom to the Broken - Hope to the Fatherless"