Be inspired to make a change.

Around 95% of children initially entering our home throughout our 13 years of fostering, appeared to be healthy, and for the most part, they were.  Some entering foster care come with lice, scabies or ringworm, but these ailments are all treatable and will go away. However, the children entering with extreme health issues are becoming more frequent. The Department of Children (DCF) and Child Protective Investigators (CPIs) are not always privy to all or any specific health issues a child could have. Children will always bring the risk of the unknown when entering a foster home and we as caregivers must be prepared. I feel lead to educate our world about medically needy foster children, their caregivers, and their families.

I want to urge you to share this blog, in hopes of showing how we are to teach children, friends, and neighbors, all to help cultivate a love for humanity and the children in care. Help bring compassion into the everyday world of foster care. It is hard enough to be a caregiver of an emotionally fragile child in foster care, it is more difficult to help understand their needs when they have a medical condition.

After only six days of entering our home, our sixty-first child heard for the first time, words that no child should hear, "terminally ill". I remember the walls closing in and becoming claustrophobic. I could think nothing say to our new little boy.  How does a child hear his life will be short-lived when others didn't even want him to live?  The words barely sank in that day, when I began to think of how he came with a diminished spirit and now to learn of his broken little body. Our family quickly adjusted our lifestyle while advocating what it means for children living in foster care who have long-term and life-altering health conditions. Learning how to make adjustments to a handicapped way of living is a challenge, and finding out who can help you navigate in the foster care system can be difficult. I am sharing our medical foster to adopt journey, in hopes of giving an insight into those foster/adoptive parents who think they cannot step up to the challenge.


Being a traditional foster home, with a medical child, we had to learn the medical system quickly. Having our Community Base Care Organization, such as our's at Family Support Services of Northeast Florida, was our best ally in the foster care community. Knowing that they had a Medicaid staff to answer any and all questions, gave insight into the issues we were facing and would face into our parental future. Also, finding other medical families in foster care or adoptive homes, was a wonderful asset in educating our new way of living.  I want all of our foster and adoptive families to know, there are resources, mentors, and information for all foster / adoptive homes, just don't be afraid to ask!

We quickly began to learn that the world sees our handicapped child as a hindrance to their perfect bubbled lifestyles and learned that making a change is another way to create a loving environment for others living with challenges.

Recently we had the privilege of attending a prestigious event through "Dreams Come True" a local organization that gives dreams to children diagnosed with medical conditions. The cars we saw that day were among some of the finest, and most expensive well-crafted works of art, from the past to the present. The anticipation overwhelmed our son, and his daddy, who was beaming with pride to see his son's wish come true. We notice that other children and their families looked through him sitting in his handicap stroller, almost as though he was invisible. We learned that day, most of the on-lookers just wanted to stand in front him, causing his view to be restricted. All he wanted, was to gaze at the wonderment of these majestic cars.  As his parents, we became saddened to see his face change from excitement, to discouragement. We ourselves were distraught with lack of humanity and the parents who are raising children to act in such as way. We so just wanted to leave, but were quickly reminded that we were there for him! Adventally when we broke away from the crowd, we were able to bring his bright smile back to that adorable face and watch his dream become a reality with amazement and delight!

I have one plea! Mommas, raise your children to open doors. Daddys, show your children by your example, by standing up for others so they may sit. Children will learn that they don't always have to be the first in line. More importantly, children must see others through the eyes of compassion.  It is already hard for a child coming into foster care, saying they feel different is an understatement. On top of all that, having a child with a medical condition can make it even harder to live with the mainstream.  Let's all take a step back and see the mom struggling with all the child's equipment, or a child peering over someone twice their size to take a view of the excitement ahead. Humanity is learned by the example of love. Humanity is seeing those with disabilities and not looking through them. Stand back, and teach change. Our family and other families parenting children with medical and emotional needs would appreciate the gesture. We would love for you to see our children's smiles and the openness in learning who our children are and not looking over the beauty inside each one.

Children with disabilities have challenges but I don't want any child to become their challenge. Children in foster care have their emotional and sometimes medical needs, my goal is for each of us to see their hope. Please help us make a change and help us break the cycle.

We want children in and out of foster care, to see the world with kindness,  having empathy for those around them. I thank you for listening to my heart as a mother, who will forever have a child with medical, emotional and spiritual needs. Although not given to me by birth, but purposely chosen by adoption, we still want our children to be heard, accepted and loved. Now I ask of you to be the new voice of change! Help us, Teach, Instruct and Educate others to see each child as especially needed and not to be especially needy.

Finally, if you are a new foster/adoptive parent with these struggles, we are shining a light on this need and are here to support you in any way. Find your support through your local DCF, CBC or Foster Adoptive Parent Association or start a local support group like I did! Ask, we are all here to help!

Thank you.
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