Today's Blog is from a beautiful soul who is a dear friend and began her journey was a momma, but quickly became a relative placement. Here is just part of her journey. You can read more from her blog link below.
Next Step: Adoption. So Why Am I Not Happy?
Today, the state terminated parental rights to the sweet baby boy we have been in love with for the last 10 months. So much anticipation went into today. Would the birth mother show up in court? If she did, would she make another claim that she didn’t receive something and delay things again? Would we be approved to adopt him? So many things could go wrong.
But they didn’t. Everything went according to plan. Rights were terminated. We were approved to adopt. So why do I feel so yucky? It doesn’t make any sense. We are one step closer to what we have been waiting for. Adoption. The day we no longer have to worry that someone will swoop in and take him. No more home visits, court hearings, asking permission for things. He would be ours and we could all move on to the next stage of being a family.
But, I’m sad.
I can’t help but think about the magnitude of this day. This is not just the day we were approved to adopt or the day we no longer have to worry about him going back. This is the day our baby boy lost his birth mom. The woman that he will ask about years down the road. The woman he will want to know details about and maybe even ask to meet. I’m heartbroken for him. I can’t celebrate while knowing that right now, in this moment, my baby boy has no legal parents. I never expected to feel this way.
After court, a well-meaning case worker sent a text saying “Congratulations”. It felt so inappropriate. I wonder how I would feel if a court severed the legal ties to my mom. Thankfully, our baby is too young to understand but older kids must feel so torn. I can’t imagine what that must be like. Parents can be horrible to a child but a child will still love their parents no matter what, ya know I will never again take TPR lightly. This moment will lay heavy on my heart forever.
#Anonymousmomma
https://thishopefulmess.org/2018/05/16/next-step-adoption-so-why-am-i-not-happy/
I completely relate to this. You wait so long so you can finally adopt the child or children you love but there's another side. I remember when our childrens' parents rights were terminated. The kids were confused and couldn't understand how it could happen. I couldn't understand how they could be told that the next visit they had with their mom would be their last. How does a child bear this? My heart hurt for them. There were so many questions unanswered, so many dreams for reunification with their mom that wouldn't come true. I will always feel sad for not only these children who lost their mom but the mom who lost her children. No matter what the circumstance, I did know she loved her children. Termination of rights needed to happen but it still hurts for all involved.
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