Wednesday, November 27, 2019

Making Thanksgiving Thankful

Thanksgiving is such a wonderful memory for me. Raised by a mom and dad who taught my brother and I to love the Lord and honor family. I had a loving, yet strict grandparents, who welcomed all 19 of us into their home once a month after Sunday church service to celebrate of all the month's birthdays. I always knew that home meant family and family meant love. My father's parents cultivated a family of loyalty and Godliness; characteristics most families do not experience in today's culture.

Eugene and Beulah Johnson's Home
Thanksgiving 1980
There was an amazing sense of gratitude as my dad drove our car into the driveway leading to my grandparents colonial style home. The emotion of Thanksgiving filled my heart knowing as soon as I entered I would see all my family. My grandparent's colonial style house had a magnificent white pillared porch, but we always entered through the back porch with a glass windowed door,  that would lead to Mammaw's kitchen. The aromas of Thanksgiving were floating throughout the porch air, which always caused my stomach to growl with delight. As I entered each room of the house to find my cousins, the house smells of turkey, cornbread, collared greens, green beans and so much more, permeated throughout each room I entered. I would always stop to gaze at the enormous stretched dinning room table that covered with every sublime southern comfort foods you could imagine. Each food was so lovingly prepared by my Mammaw, aunts and my own momma. On my way to play, I would pass the three side tables were I would see the sweetest southern ice tea, cakes, pies and always Mammaw’s homemade pecan pie for dessert, that I still make today.

Cousins (not all pictured)
I can still hear the the ladies laughter coming from the kitchen. The men would always watch a football game with my Grandaddy in the sun porch room.  I can’t forget that all of us cousins would attempt to play on Mammaw’s antique pump organ, running up and down the colonial staircase. Which seemed like hours as all the kids waited. We mostly spent those “hours” putting together a band or a skit to preform later all the adults “entertainment”, which usually was a comedy show. All priceless moments, that are now our treasured thoughts and memories past. It felt like an eternity as we waited for the final call that Thanksgiving dinner was ready but worth all the wait.

When each casserole dish was finally placed on tables, and we were set into our circle, holding hands around the table, Grandaddy would call on one of his sons or son-in-laws to pray God’s blessing over our bountiful meal. Each prayer throughout the years, were of thankfulness to God's richness over our family and His grace over our lives. Looking back, that is my favorite time God showed me what a home feels like for a child, and what God has intended a family should emulate. I am forever grateful for my grandparents living their lives pleasing unto the Lord and giving me a view of what they never had as children, but had chosen for each family member to see.

Fast forward 40 years, I cannot go a day without thinking of all the children entering foster care each year and wondering if have ever truly felt Thanksgiving? After 13 years of fostering 61 children, our family has learn how it must be hard to have learn someone else's "traditions", be in other family's home during the holidays.  Thankful is not the word I think enters their minds. No, I think words like loneliness, fear, emptiness and being away from their own family. Their pain of separation from the only parents they have ever known. The feeling of why am I here? Who are these people? I struggle to see each perspective of how lives can change for the children in foster care and the hopeless void of the loss of their family. All that they are missing during the holidays.

Take a moment as you feel yourself being pulled from the only family you ever knew. Although, a dysfunctional family, with no traditions, prayer or laughter, but your only family they you can call your own. The same family you have lived with for your 4-10 years of life. And yet, suddenly being put into a new life with strangers who want to call you their family.  We are taught from an early life, that strangers are scary. So why did those people with badges bring me into a stranger's home and why do I have to sleep in this strange bed and listen to these people who are calling me theirs? No one looks like me. No one knows what I like or don’t like to eat. All of these thoughts elude my mind as I think of our children at Thanksgiving. All their thoughts of what do I have to give to be thankful for?   I just want my family. I want to go home!! Not here!

Now let me share from the perspective of what most people are thinking. "Children will love all the joys we have to give them at Thanksgiving." "The children will have a family for Thanksgiving!!  "The children will have traditions." Or maybe, "These poor kids probably have never been thankful for a home." "I bet they have never known what a true Thanksgiving feels like." But we all know, what we all want for Thanksgiving is to be with family, and usually our own family.

I want to show you how we should embrace our children in foster care who enter each home this Thanksgiving and Christmas season. I pray that each child feels our love. I pray that they aren't scared, aren't too sad or cry themselves to sleep. I pray that they feel the heart of who we are in our thankful home. I want each soul to know what Thanksgiving is in the own heart and keep that memory sacred. I pray that they find our home welcoming to their fears, comforting to their tears and understanding to their ways. I hope you see a child from their perspective and not what we want them to see.

If I teach our world anything, it would be that our core family is a constant for a thankful home. Thanksgiving is a time to show the true meaning of family, through our gentleness in their lives. That each child can see what the true meaning of Thanksgiving is for them. That they can one day remember the sights, sounds, and emotional moments valued in our foster care homes. One day each child who has entered our home, will grow up to have families, and my prayer is they want the treasured memories of love, comfort and a shared respect for family.

Sincerely Blessed, Thankful and Filled with His love this Thanksgiving!

In His Service,
Tammy
president and founder of +Foster Closet
"Mom to the Broken - Hope to the Fatherless"

No comments:

Post a Comment