Be inspired to make a change.

Around 95% of children initially entering our home throughout our 13 years of fostering, appeared to be healthy, and for the most part, they were.  Some entering foster care come with lice, scabies or ringworm, but these ailments are all treatable and will go away. However, the children entering with extreme health issues are becoming more frequent. The Department of Children (DCF) and Child Protective Investigators (CPIs) are not always privy to all or any specific health issues a child could have. Children will always bring the risk of the unknown when entering a foster home and we as caregivers must be prepared. I feel lead to educate our world about medically needy foster children, their caregivers, and their families.

I want to urge you to share this blog, in hopes of showing how we are to teach children, friends, and neighbors, all to help cultivate a love for humanity and the children in care. Help bring compassion into the everyday world of foster care. It is hard enough to be a caregiver of an emotionally fragile child in foster care, it is more difficult to help understand their needs when they have a medical condition.

After only six days of entering our home, our sixty-first child heard for the first time, words that no child should hear, "terminally ill". I remember the walls closing in and becoming claustrophobic. I could think nothing say to our new little boy.  How does a child hear his life will be short-lived when others didn't even want him to live?  The words barely sank in that day, when I began to think of how he came with a diminished spirit and now to learn of his broken little body. Our family quickly adjusted our lifestyle while advocating what it means for children living in foster care who have long-term and life-altering health conditions. Learning how to make adjustments to a handicapped way of living is a challenge, and finding out who can help you navigate in the foster care system can be difficult. I am sharing our medical foster to adopt journey, in hopes of giving an insight into those foster/adoptive parents who think they cannot step up to the challenge.


Being a traditional foster home, with a medical child, we had to learn the medical system quickly. Having our Community Base Care Organization, such as our's at Family Support Services of Northeast Florida, was our best ally in the foster care community. Knowing that they had a Medicaid staff to answer any and all questions, gave insight into the issues we were facing and would face into our parental future. Also, finding other medical families in foster care or adoptive homes, was a wonderful asset in educating our new way of living.  I want all of our foster and adoptive families to know, there are resources, mentors, and information for all foster / adoptive homes, just don't be afraid to ask!

We quickly began to learn that the world sees our handicapped child as a hindrance to their perfect bubbled lifestyles and learned that making a change is another way to create a loving environment for others living with challenges.

Recently we had the privilege of attending a prestigious event through "Dreams Come True" a local organization that gives dreams to children diagnosed with medical conditions. The cars we saw that day were among some of the finest, and most expensive well-crafted works of art, from the past to the present. The anticipation overwhelmed our son, and his daddy, who was beaming with pride to see his son's wish come true. We notice that other children and their families looked through him sitting in his handicap stroller, almost as though he was invisible. We learned that day, most of the on-lookers just wanted to stand in front him, causing his view to be restricted. All he wanted, was to gaze at the wonderment of these majestic cars.  As his parents, we became saddened to see his face change from excitement, to discouragement. We ourselves were distraught with lack of humanity and the parents who are raising children to act in such as way. We so just wanted to leave, but were quickly reminded that we were there for him! Adventally when we broke away from the crowd, we were able to bring his bright smile back to that adorable face and watch his dream become a reality with amazement and delight!

I have one plea! Mommas, raise your children to open doors. Daddys, show your children by your example, by standing up for others so they may sit. Children will learn that they don't always have to be the first in line. More importantly, children must see others through the eyes of compassion.  It is already hard for a child coming into foster care, saying they feel different is an understatement. On top of all that, having a child with a medical condition can make it even harder to live with the mainstream.  Let's all take a step back and see the mom struggling with all the child's equipment, or a child peering over someone twice their size to take a view of the excitement ahead. Humanity is learned by the example of love. Humanity is seeing those with disabilities and not looking through them. Stand back, and teach change. Our family and other families parenting children with medical and emotional needs would appreciate the gesture. We would love for you to see our children's smiles and the openness in learning who our children are and not looking over the beauty inside each one.

Children with disabilities have challenges but I don't want any child to become their challenge. Children in foster care have their emotional and sometimes medical needs, my goal is for each of us to see their hope. Please help us make a change and help us break the cycle.

We want children in and out of foster care, to see the world with kindness,  having empathy for those around them. I thank you for listening to my heart as a mother, who will forever have a child with medical, emotional and spiritual needs. Although not given to me by birth, but purposely chosen by adoption, we still want our children to be heard, accepted and loved. Now I ask of you to be the new voice of change! Help us, Teach, Instruct and Educate others to see each child as especially needed and not to be especially needy.

Finally, if you are a new foster/adoptive parent with these struggles, we are shining a light on this need and are here to support you in any way. Find your support through your local DCF, CBC or Foster Adoptive Parent Association or start a local support group like I did! Ask, we are all here to help!

Thank you.
SaveSave
SaveSave

How to teach, when you think they should know.

How many times do you say to your kids, "It feels like you will never learn" or "We tell you the same things over and over again." Is a daily occurrence in your home? Well, It is in ours.  It's hard to remember that in just three short years of living with our family, our children are making strides and at the same time, a few steps backward! Prior to adoption, our family was a family four, me, my husband John and the two from our belly, Ben, and Reagan. We had been set into motion for over 21 1/2  years when our last two foster children (sixty and sixty-one) forever stepped into our cohesive environment.  However, the daily routines of our family's well-adjusted spinning wheel came to a halt on that quiet February night. Our then, six-year-old son and our seven-year-old daughter entered our family room for the first time. At that moment we became a family of six, although it changed our world, it must have been so hard for our two new little ones to enter into foster care, for yet another time. This more often than you think for children coming into this type of environment or a similar pre-existing home. Our two children now had to live in our already 21 years, established family of four. And our family had to learn how to bring them into the fold.

One cannot forget that our children also lived with their birth mom on and off for 5/6 years and in and out of relative care, nonrelative and foster care. They lived with their birth father for a short time, prior to coming back into the system. And also, living with their maternal grandmother, who was not the best fit for my children. Our babies were in and out of foster care twice (maybe more with nonrelative placement) and then adopted first time for a short time (prior to our home) and now entering the foster care system yet again, because of the torture of one of the kids. How hard is that to comprehend for me as an adult, the many unstable environments that our children must have experienced in just 6 or seven years. Seeing their past in black and white is extremely difficult to read.  Yet children lived it all the time.  Our children not only lived it, endured it! How can we forget? Sadly, at times, we do. However, I'm grateful for the day when they cannot remember.

I don't want to be so doom and gloom as you read this blog. But I want to hit home how most of our children and families are living day in and day out with the children's past abuses and mental states. Our foster care and foster/adopted world is a bubble no one wants to bust, but I must, as I advocate for the ones who have had to live in the world of the foster care system. Have you ever stopped and thought about your own past? Please take a minute and think, "How many schools did you move to before third grade?" I can remember being moved 2 to two different schools before third grade. "How many homes did you attend prior to turning six or seven?" For me, only one loving home with two parents and one brother. By the way one house I lived in as well.  And I'm pretty sure you didn't potentially live with 7 to 8  families before you were in the first grade?  "How many last names did you have?"  or "How many women you called mom?" This brings to home the unstructured, dysfunctional lives that are lived by our children in foster care. These are the memories our children recall each time they think back.

When we think about the set rules we for children growing up in our home. How many rules did you break? How many times did your parents tell you repeatedly what it needs to be done?  So funny to see my childhood from someone perspective and not my own's.  I can remember being a funny happy little girl, who wanted and needed, quite a lot of attention. I wanted to be in charge at all times.   I grew up in church and knew right from wrong. I had one last name until my marriage. I came from a family who loved me and shared my name. I knew all the rules and yet... yep! I even I broke them... but just sometimes?  I'm sure I was no saint, but if you would ask my cousins, my mom and dad and oh yeah, my little brother, their recollection might be a tad bit different from mine?  However, as I think of all our 57 foster and now our 2 adopted children, it somehow it all pails in comparison to my simple childhood. Although I did have an abuse of own in my family, I never had to live with that perpetrator. I was able to go home to my parents and family who cared for me in the way a mom and dad should. However, doesn't the childhood of every foster child having to endure such anguishing pain, pail in comparison? Put into reality,  children in care,  are lost when entering our stable homes? If a child is struggling with depression, ADHD, or better yet, severe trauma, which was given to them by their own parents/adoptive parents, doesn't learn the simple things, like when to brush your teeth, not sneaking candy to their room or the mundane cleaning of your room, bring the point of "WHO CARES" kind-of-attitude? Sometimes baby steps for children in foster care are huge accomplishments. Of course, I'm preaching to myself and our own family's fundamental way of parenting of what children coming out of this atmosphere, should do or how to act.  Our children to the outside world look "normal", but to us, they drive us crazy! To all our foster/adoptive parents, you are normal too! But when I think about it, I'm sure I drove my parents crazy too! I will take feeling crazy for now, and teach our children, who they can become! I have to think of how in just in almost 3 short years, these kiddos are just trying to catch up our 24 and half years of growing as a family. When I see from my children's perspective, it makes me step back and take a huge breath as I begin to sink into the memories of when they stepped into our home that 12th Thursday night in February. When the DCF CPI (Department of Children and Families, Child Protection Investigator), as well as an Emergency Trauma Therapist, dropped off the children, we thought we would have them for a short time. They must have been so scared!! Fast forward to today and to how they come so far in our family! I'm amazed at whom they are today!  We are all intertwined with the McGuire Family and I am blessed! They are growing! We are blessed!

I pray that our children see that punishments are the consequences of their own choices. Punishments never make us feel loved. They only bring to light just how imperfect we are.   But I still hope that we show when taking privileges away, only acknowledges how we are wanting to cultivate beautiful human beings who will make the right decisions in their future.  Just this week we were driving down the short road to school,  and I turned on the radio thinking to hear music, however, was surprised to hear a preacher explaining how God allows all of us to receive consequences to the poor choices we have made.  I turned off the radio to elaborate on my children sitting in the back seat, who cannot escape the sound of my voice! I shared with them, just like when they break the rules, the kids get no TV or dessert taken away, adults can have consequences too. I went on to say, yes, even I must follow the rules (law) of a state or our country and if I choose not to, I to have consequences for my own actions. As we were stopped at stop sign, I pointed over to the house to our right and I asked the kids if I just could walk into that person's home or drive all over their lawn and rip up their grass? They said no way!! Of course, they said no? I was so glad they said no!  I told them it's not just a law I would break, or that I was going to maliciously run over someone's property, it was that kind of action was also not morally correct. I think they got it? But I had to try... I had to ask... I had to explain. Becuase I'm their mom.  I can never assume as the parent, what any of my children know.  I must always and continuously instruct, sometimes "nag", in hopes they get what is to be expected of them. As I dropped them off at school, one child shared aka tattled, that the other child took one of my own birthday flowers given to me by a friend of mine. My child had brought it to school to give to a friend or a teacher and had it in their pocket. When asked if they took my flower,  reluctant the guilty party pulled it out of their pocket. I shared how the flower took, was given to me by my friend and I wished they would have just asked if they could take one flower. The door shut and I continued to drive through drop-off and off to work. When getting to work, I noticed that the same child had brought an item into the car they were told to not bring out of the house. Oh, my! Was my talk too late? At least they left the item in the car? Baby steps momma bear, baby steps.

I want our children to grow up knowing right from wrong. However, I must always live by example and instruction, so they can learn by the repetitiveness of life. When I picked my kiddos up from school that same day,  shared with them how although I had other flowers at home, the ones that were taken, were mine. I had to explain how what is mine is not theirs. I also shared that sometimes it's better to ask if one can to take, before taking.  We must be consistent in our teaching and not expect that children coming from dysfunctional, trauma-filled existence prior to our homes, should truly understand how to make good decisions. Sometimes I think foster parents forget that when children have been with you almost three years or more,  we must not assume they are retaining,  remember they were with their prior homes much longer than with our home's. So as the parent of my children, I must continually instruct and explain and then repeat again and again. Sometimes with great details. We cannot expect children to take our children's mixed up life's puzzle pieces and think theirs can cohesively fit into ours.  I know their pieces are always forming and never set. God knows, I wish, but in the long run,  I know, I'm speaking directly to myself. I want to become their greatest life teacher and not the memory of an inconsistent, dysfunctional past-family dynamic they once lived. God gave them to me to prove His ways are righteous and you cannot prove anything without the why. You must say why I told you so... Over and Over and Over again. That's because they are so worth it! Over and Over Again!

In His Service,
Tammy
president and founder of +Foster Closet
"Mom to the Broken - Hope to the Fatherless"

The struggles of PTSD

Sometimes you look at your child who has been through so much and see this soul full of promise! A being that feels whole and gives you a peace of accomplishment... "He's come such a long way"!! And then IT happens, an "episode". What does that look like, you might ask? One minute you have a compliant child, the next you have a child looking blank at you and beginning to shut down, or better yet, revert to his toddler years. When a child has been so horrifically victimized by the very same people he was supposed to trust and stay safe forever, that is when the child's brain learns to protect itself.  This is when those moments overcome us with the continual anticipation of the emotional rug being pulled out from underneath us.

As a parent, you feel helpless to manage their outburst and your reaction to the outburst. You try to understand the reason and rhyme of it all... but when it comes down to it, you just can't. You have to come to the conclusion that your child's brain has forever been altered by the prior abusers and they have put a mark on your child. That is why they react to certain circumstances they cannot control. And better yet, how they react to you.

The worst call as a parent is when you can get from school's principal telling you your son is being baker-acted! Baker-act is when you must provide individuals with emergency services and temporary detention for mental health evaluation and treatment when required, either on a voluntary or an involuntary basis. This is a process where the child stays overnight for 48-72 hours. Our son was only six, that's right 6 years of age when it happened to us! Having to know my little boy and others like him, are being placed in the backseat of a police car and all because adults were frightened of him, yes frightened, that saddens me to utter those words. When arriving at the mental health institution, I had to be buzzed in to see my child. Once through the door, I was met by my blanked-face little boy and a police officer. He told me he didn't have to handcuff him... what! handcuff a six-year-old?  After waiting in the small cramped lobby, we watched older teens come in with handcuffs and calmly know what to do and what was expected of them. It was almost as though they chose to act out so that they could arrive at this mental health institution. I was so saddened and tried to hold back my tears. Better yet, having to watch your child undress and be examine by a stranger to see if he had any bruises from his self-harming. And when your little one ask if he is staying and where you are going is so difficult to answer. Then finally having to watch this little child walk through those big double doors to good-bye and not knowing who long he would stay and not being able to speak to those taking care of my child.

In all my 13 years of fostering, I had never come across such a child who was likened to have untrained-animalist tendencies. Once a child has been brought to that moment, they realize they are not worthy of life. If you are 5/6 years old and have come to that conclusion, why even try. There are children in foster care who have had many more years of continual abuse, to which the damage is greater to their growing and every changing brains. How do they trust? How do they process? How do they determined to know who is good and when will that "good" person switch to hurting them. I'm sure that hearing anything negative come out of an adult around these children, can be processed as - "WHEN I SAY NO !" ... hurt follows.

Having a child who was deemed "tortured" by The Department of Children and Families, you truly cannot imagine what their brain was gone through. At the time of adoption, you are able to read the court's transcripts of your child's life, that is when reality sets in. You find out that prior to birth was extremely dangerous for this child, no prenatal care, born addicted to many drugs, shown pictures of your future son all hooked up to so many tubes and wires helping him survive... and that is just the beginning of their life.

I am here to say there is HOPE! Yes, you must pray to love throughout the pain, frustration, and fear but love is truly not enough! First, medication is a must for children like ours, although not forever. Second, we must follow through with consistency to our threats. IF you say the child has to go to bed early that night, stay the course. They will learn to manipulate through their survival skills, you must take a firm (but loving) stand and follow through with your parenting. Third, we must give affirmation when the child succeeds in self-calming or staying on task. Finally, never give up on therapy! Starting out with trauma therapy is essential for a child to process and control their feelings, emotions and physical actions. This process also helps the family learn, process and control their child. After discharged from over one year of trauma therapy, we switched to traditional and post-adoption therapy. I am a true believer that once a child learns why, they and the family must learn how to keep the self-calming, and self-control of their daily triggers and outburst.

I promise it is the hardest life-event you will ever experience if you have a PTSD child, however, to see a positive progression is the reward for your due diligence. Learn more about your child and his or her's mental health, then apply it to your daily routine and stay the course of action given to you by your mental health specialist. You will be whole, your family will be whole, or as whole as the child can be with a mental health diagnosis can be.

In His Service,
Tammy
president and founder of +Foster Closet
"Mom to the Broken - Hope to the Fatherless"

Taking our memories while "Starting a New"

To everything (turn, turn, turn)

There is a season (turn, turn, turn)And a time to every purpose, under heaven. "Turn", by the Birds

The Worlds of The Lord: 
Ecclesiastes 3:4-"a time to weep and a time to laugh,  a time to mourn and a time to dance. "

As I look back over the last 12 years that our family was a licensed foster home, and, the one year as an adoptive family.  I find myself pondering all the "moments" in my family's life which has created our family as a whole. After 17 years of bringing up our children, serving the children, and caring for teens within a foster family in our community.  We have closed our home to fostering and moved our forever family to our new home. It was hard leaving the very home where we raised our two older children for from the ages of 3 to 20, and 6 to the age of 23.  In the last 13 of the 17 years time spent in our five bedroom home, we had 61 fostered souls sojourn. God knows how difficult this can be.  Leaving such fond memories, but also, how rewarding our future will become. 

 


As I slowly walked throughout the hallways of the upstairs, I noticed myself peering into each space looking for any remnants or articles of the yesteryears. I am continuously stopped in my tracks by the deafening silence of noises I may never hear again.  I am overwhelmed by the resounding memory of countless belly laughs, whimpers, and cries of a dozen babies as their sounds drift towards my bedroom calling me to their cribs. I can still hear many of the kids playing with my childhood dollhouse on the upstairs balcony. I can see where the super-hero and princes' stickers that cover the inside of their doors. And, where the bunk bed was set now gives way to the memory of all their bedtime routines. Even when I would help each child snuggle into their beds, tuck them in or sing them hymns; then read them a bedtime story. Or kissed their foreheads and whispered goodnight.  I pray they remember those special moments, as much as I did.  "A child's best friend is usually the one telling bedtime stories." Eraldo Banovac.

My emotions are extremely mixed knowing these moments are leaving us behind. I can feel the sadness of my empty arms which gives way to the joy of knowing our home has truly ministered to many little beings permeating throughout our household of faith. The moment when I feel the loss of the child member when they leave my arms and get handed over to another's.... life is forever changed in the McGuire family. "God Puts those in our life who become greater than a memory." me, Tammy McGuire

If these walls could talk, they would say many things that are recollections of when the children entered our home. Our family would witness their eyes telling a story of the feelings they felt as they entered our home for the first time. Some felt fearfulness while others, like babies, that would have that look of an empty shell or hopelessness. When anger would raise its ugly head, I am reminded how the mood of rage is a fine line that can cross to the feeling of loneliness.   It never mattered how they came in, but, it always mattered how they were touched as we watch them leave. "Where we love, is home - that our feet may leave, but not our hearts." - relative adopted parent  Oliver Wendell Holmes. - Chief Justice of the United States.

Sometimes I can still hear the laughter from each silly, sarcastic, and funny family characters who forever permeated the walls of our home. Sometimes I think back to those giggles from the depths of our souls; it makes my laughter turn to sweet tears of joy. Many times when a child would make us laugh, we saw them becoming powerful creatures of who God who created them to be and not that of whom they were. "The laughter of a child is the light of a home,"   Unknown

As I stroll through the house and open each door that leads to another, I find myself looking for traces of memories left. I can still recall the sounds, smells, and the touch of the children we so lovingly served over the last 13 years. The smells of the newborn babies in our arms, as we soothe their

whimpers with our cuddles, and rock them so gently to sleep. I can still smell those silly little boys, the boys who ran throughout the halls and up and down the stairs towards the front door that led them outside front yard to play. I can smell the thousands of meals that I have so lovingly prepared for each of their empty tummies. I have always hoped they could seehow we are blessed, as they taste the bountiful fruits of the Lord's greatness!! Would one ever think that smells live in a home are in memory?  If you have ever been around a child's spirit, then you know they have forever touched yours.  And even the smells are kept in our home's memory, and Forever in my mind! Thank you, Lord, for that! "Of the five senses, smell is the one with the best memory" Rebecca McClanahan


Finally, the touch of a child can still be felt on my cheek as they thank me for fixing a broken toy or kissing boo-boos away. The embrace of their hugs as they wrapped their sweet arms around me and gave way to their trust of love.  I am forever grateful to God for allowing me to have experienced their innocent love and the newness of life. I am thankful for each child and all the sensory moments that I have collected over the years.  Which brings joy, sadness, and closure to the past. "Perhaps this is the moment for which you have been created." Esther 4:14


I would like to end this blog with this powerful quote by poet Helen Bush 


                                                        God has given me a place on earth

to be here for a while.

I hope that as I’m passing through

I can make somebody smile

I want to make life easier

For all the ones I meet

I ask God for His blessings

To the strangers on the street.

I hope I’ll never fail a friend

If I can help somehow.

I want to be as generous

As my resources will allow.

And when my life on earth is done.

It will be my final plea

Let someone, somewhere think or say

“You made a difference to me”

-Helen Bush 

TammyPresident and Founder of +Foster Closet

"Mom to the Broken - Hope to the Fatherless"

Getting to know me... Getting to know all about me.

For those who have never met me, let me share my heart behind the leadership of Foster Closet Corporation.

For the first 35 years of my life, I was a girl born and raised Jacksonville, FL from a God-fearing family that had deep roots in the Jacksonville community. I went to Nease High School with the inspiration of singing on broadway. However, at the age of 22, my life took another born-talent and chose a career in cosmetology. At the age of 26, I met my husband, John M. McGuire and we were married in 1993. Soon after we had our first born, Ben and three years later our second, Reagan. I was a devoted stay-at-home mom that loved my Lord, my husband, and children, our family, and the home we created. We were all set for our future as the McGuire Family.

However, when John and I wanted to add more children to our family we found ourselves looking into adopting, however through much prayer we chose foster care in 2005. That is when I found purpose through my love for children. Our journey through the Word of God and with my past life experiences with other foster children, it brought us to our family's purpose. I would have never thought that 13 years later we would become a foster home, we would have cradled 61 children in our home, adopted our last two we fostered and that I would be running the largest free resource in Northeast Florida for the foster care community. Nothing is Impossible when you put your trust in God!! My prayer is that we all seek His Word, Pray before we leap and learn all we can about our direction for the children we seek.

I want to share that my family is so important to me and we allowed our home to have the privilege to minister to "The least of these" Matthew 25:40-45, "The fatherless" Deuteronomy 10:18. My heart's desire is to an advocate, while being the voice of those without voices. Through the years I have seen the value of directing families caring for the children in foster care. Because of these life moments John and I started the first ever support group in Northeast FL for foster parents and in 2018 founded First Coast Foster Adoptive Parent's Association. 

God has so deeply honored me with our nonprofit - The Foster Closet Corp. I would love for you to learn more about my purpose, my passion and my life's fingerprint on this foster care community. I would love for you to come meet the children we serve each day at Foster Closet. 

Please join our Foster Closet family, as we celebrate the children in Northeast FL. by volunteering your time, supporting our cause or donating, by visiting www.fostercloset.org. You will forever be touched at Foster Closet by the joy you will receive from the children we serve. My prayer is to always have a humbled heart and always seek God's directional focus as I help guide the children and the ones who care from them.

You will forever be blessed.

https://www.fostercloset.org

TammyPresident and Founder of +Foster Closet

"Mom to the Broken - Hope to the Fatherless"

Back to school with a plan.

Is your child Timid? Happy? Angry? Scared? Or outgoing?  Let's also say NEW, on top of everything else? I could go on, but, they are too many 'labels' that we all have designated that defines our children. How are you going to define your child on their first day of school to their teacher? Being a foster child is a daunting experience. Having to leave the only family you have ever known; going to a new family; a new school; and now a new "identity" can break your child's spirit. As parents, we must give each child the confidence to enter any environment with a willingness to learn anything new while in your home... and there will be many changes for them while in your home.

The day you meet your child's teacher - give each teacher insightful direction on how to best present your child to the class. Share with their teacher how your child is new to your home, but, we must let the child know--not in your heart. No child should feel unequally as a family member. Teachers need to be aware of this as well. Although, in foster care,you are wanting the child to realize they are a part of your family unit, however, school is one place it becomes apparent they are different.  It's good to start off by mentioning to their teacher some positive attributes of your child. Share with their teachers all their best qualities, while instructing the teacher on how best to keep the child on their positive traits. For instance, "Our little girl who is very outgoing, is also afraid of not being able to make new friends.  Although she is a people pleaser, she has a part of her who wants to always be right. " I would let my teacher know how she is beautiful on the inside as she is on the out. "She has a big heart, with a bigger zeal for her independence." Although only being in your house a short time you have given the teacher the insight to your daughter' strengths. Let the teacher know that math is her favorite and you have found her needing help in reading. All of these small, but insightful details are helpful for your child's education, and future in school. "She has a love for math that we hope she cultivates here in your class, but we have noticed she's less confident in her reading skills."  Remember, your child is always listening to your words... your words that can either encourage or defeat a child's confidence in a new school environment.

Although your child's time spent in your home (or in their new school) maybe unknown; it will make a direct impact on their education. In some settings, you will be in a place where the child is in earshot  and you do not want to give out too much information on why they are with you in front of your child. Any information that could be classified confidential should not be said at on their first day of school.  This is not the place to explain their past or any fears you might have of what might happen in their class. Those items should be held for a scheduled parent / teacher conference when the child or others in the classroom are not present. Sometimes even sitting face to face with their school's counselor is needed. Better yet, even at a group setting with the child's case manager, therapist, as well as the school's counselor, and child's teacher. Schools encourage communication about the specifics of each child in their classrooms. Building teams to help your child's education will give everyone a better outlook on your child's specific needs. When educators  have better knowledge of the children past and present circumstance they will know best how to educate and guide in consist direction.

You have been given a child who needs your help in their educational path. It will be up to you to see  set many events into motion for your child's permanent future.  Education is a huge aspect in foster children's growth. Less than 45% of children in foster care never graduation high school. Don't let your child fall through the cracks while under your care.

Yes, triggers may happen in class.  Parental visits will disrupt your child's school day and therapist and social worker in-school-visits  do not help their consistency in learning. However, we have to help each child's survival needs...you are actively advocating is showing them you care. You are also demonstrating to the educator that the child in your home has a determined parent who will oversee every aspect of their student's educational needs. Be thoughtful and insightful.  In their education and as well as their emotional plan. This is a small but vital part of your child's life that will affect them even after they leave your home.

We are more than caregivers, we are strategic planners. We must plan their structured environments, solid meals, deep rested sleep, and scheduled playdates that will give way to the willingness to learn and create attachments to what they are experiencing. You might think that learning is not affected by their home-life, not seeing their parents, siblings, pets or friends.... but if you were taking from what you knew as "home" or "family" would you be at school thinking of classwork? or would you be at school thinking of when you would see them again? Please pour into your child's emotional needs. Keep positive and constant lines of communication with your child. Having them hear your positivity will lessen the fear, and lessen the distractions they might be having in school.

Educate yourself on all you can about children in care, and how to best advocate for them in every aspect of their lives. Your child will leave your home better educated, loved, and nurtured. It truly is all about their souls, and what we can do in their lives to build a lasting view of themselves. If a child feels loved, in control, and confident; they will have a better chance of resilience in their future.

In His Service,
Tammy
president and founder of +Foster Closet
"Mom to the Broken - Hope to the Fatherless"

When all your child's senses become new memories.

IT'S SUMMERTIME!!

School's out!  The excitement is in the air! The smell ribs smoking on the grill, the feeling of exhilaration as your body swiftly glides across a Slip and Slide, and finally the flavorful taste of homemade ice-cream at a neighborhood social! Now Shhh.... can you hear the sounds of the crickets on the grassy bank of a small rippling creek? Or see the sky filled with glow of fire-flies as you try to capture one in a jar? These are all life-moments to fill each of our Family senses.  Vacations that we will build the bond to store such emotional memories we so carefully render.

As our family invokes on new experiences that will indubitably last a life-time, our children are soaking up all the the goodness of life! We will take the old senses which reminds them of their prior life and create a fresh newness to each sense. We will remove the memory of the sound of loud music which gives way to the memory of person that hurt them. We will try to replace the smell of honeysuckle that was planted along the front of the house that was full of pain. We will take those sad emotions each sense reminds them of sad feelings and replace them with sweet treasured memories!

We have scheduled outings, play-dates, get-a-ways, bucket-wishes to check and places explore! This summer we will help our family nurture those captured heartfelt explorations! Moments that when all the senses come together, will invoke the feeling of intimacy as we forever bond!

Give your children the five senses memories. Invoke the perfect memories that will cause them to seek each smell, feel each touch, hear every heartbeat, see all life has to offer and smell the sweet fagrance of life!!  All that will remind them of you!

Creating a life-long family bond.

In His Service,
Tammy
president and founder of +Foster Closet
"Mom to the Broken - Hope to the Fatherless"